The doctor who performed my abortion was incredible: extremely skilled, thoughtful, kind and compassionate. She knew and had seen, over and over again, what it took for women to make these choices. My husband, too, knew that it had to be my decision and offered only support and comfort through the most difficult moments.
I am fortunate to live in a state where pregnant people’s right to make choices about their own bodies is protected, where so many less fortunate than me can still afford to have abortions, without encountering barriers like forced counseling and waiting periods. The network around me helped me to exercise my own choice, rather than imposing someone else’s views on me.
I do not begrudge any pregnant person’s personal choice, whatever it is. That is, in fact, the whole point. Women should be allowed to choose, and that choice should not be dependent on anyone else’s opinion. I respect the perspectives of friends of mine who do not believe in abortion and say they would not choose it for themselves. I never try to convince someone that they should share my views on abortion, and I don’t want anyone to try to do that to me. I also do not begrudge lawmakers who are against abortion for themselves; but as elected officials, they must commit to preserving the constitutionally protected right of others to choose. These reproductive choices — especially in situations involving trauma, be it rape or a desperate prognosis for the baby — are deeply private and personal, and should be made only by the pregnant person.
I have never spoken publicly about my abortion. In some ways, I have felt I should not have to, because it is an intensely personal decision. But I have decided to speak about it now because I am deeply concerned about the intensified efforts to strip choice and constitutional rights away from pregnant people and the simplistic ways of trying to criminalize abortion. There are so many stories that are far more traumatic than mine — low-income pregnant people, including people of color and rape victims who face untenable choices. There are also stories that are not traumatic at all — just the free exercise of a protected constitutional right. I am grateful to those across the country who are speaking out about the tremendous diversity of experiences and what it truly means to be empowered, even as I respect the choices of those who keep their stories private.
To this day, 22 years later, I think about those moments on the table in the doctor’s office. Circumstances prevented me from giving birth again, though I am blessed with a wonderful stepson. To this day, I have deep emotions about all the events of my life. For me, terminating my pregnancy was not an easy choice, but it was my choice. That is the single thing that has allowed me to live with the consequences of my decisions. And that is what must be preserved, for every pregnant person.
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