They were thousands of miles apart by the time he did. Ms. Kitchener grew up with her parents, Nancy and John Kitchener, and had two half sisters, Milly Smyth, who died in 2016, and Sarah Robbins. She spent the summer of 2012 teaching public speaking in China. While there, she said, “it became really clear to me that Robert was the person I wanted to talk to. I wrote him an email. Then we ended up writing each other these beautiful emails.”
By the beginning of her junior year, they were a couple. But it wasn’t until spring of 2013, when Ms. Kitchener returned to China to study abroad, that she knew she had fallen unstoppably in love. Mr. Marshall flew to China to visit her at the end of that semester. On their itinerary were stops at a few of the homes of her public speaking students.
“Robert at the time was a very picky eater,” she said. “His diet consisted of pizza and whole wheat Goldfish. My students in China had very little money, and they were inviting us to their homes for these nice meals, and I was so afraid he was going to say, ‘I can’t eat this, I can’t eat that.’” Instead, “he ate everything. Pigs blood. Everything.”
“I had stomachs, I had fish eyes, I had lots of intestines,” Mr. Marshall said. “And it turned out I really liked Chinese food.”
To Ms. Kitchener, his willingness to adapt to the local culture felt supportive. He showed the same support for her future career when, just before her 2014 graduation, she was offered a book deal.
“I thought for sure I was going to be a domestic violence lawyer,” she said.
But based on an article she wrote for The Atlantic about gender dynamics in social spaces on college campuses in 2013, she was commissioned to write “Post Grad: Five Women and Their First Year Out of College,” published by HarperCollins in 2017. During the two years it took to complete, she decided to move in with Mr. Marshall, who had an internship at a health policy law firm in Washington after graduating from Princeton in 2013. (She has never regretted it, as she pointed out publicly in 2017 in a monologue on PBS NewsHour titled “Why I Followed My Boyfriend to a New City After College.”)
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